18.1.11

Listen, boy.

You're a fool, Scott. You really are. You know that sometimes you can't stand the pain. You know that! Why do you insist on continuing on with this? What are you doing? What are you trying to prove? That you love her? She knows! And, you know what - she wants to put it out of her mind as quickly as she can, every time you bring it up. You've seen it! You've seen how her face changes every time the topic gets even close being brought up; if there's just a remote connection that somehow reminds her of that.

But you persist. I understand you, you know? Maybe you can't do it. Why don't you ask her to do it? She cares about you, right? And she wants to be around for you, to a degree, because you have no one else. Fair enough. And that made you feel good, didn't it? It was like a drink of water when you're stuck in the desert. You love her. Fine! But what about yourself? What are you going to do about yourself? And if you love her, why don't you do something about it? Hm? Answer me!

I can't do that. I can't allow myself to be that selfish.

Idiot! You love her, don't you? Love is selfish. It requires you be devoted to each other, and no one else. And sometimes you have to sacrifice things for the other person. That may not sound selfish, but you know it is, Scott. You can see it. Just do something!

I don't know what I can do. I don't think I should. She's... well... and I...

What? You can't do anything? She's occupied with other things and so you won't do anything? Good. Great. Absolutely perfect. After all, inaction worked so well for you last time, didn't it? Listen to me. Do you love her?

Well, of course I do.

Do you love her?

Yes
!


Then do something about it. Make her yours, or walk away. Either way, just fucking do something!

Like what?

Anything. Don't be afraid. Maybe she'll reject you. Maybe she'll reject it all. She may even leave. But at least you tried. And in that sense, you succeed, no matter what happens.

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