Dawning A New Age?

I haven't drank in a while. I did last night, and now I can't sleep. I've always found that sort of odd: falling asleep and sleeping like a rock is supposed to be one of the effects of alcohol, yes? Not for me. Well, in any case, I feel quite a bit better. I feel like I have a bit of a renewed vitality, a new resolve. I feel stronger.

Before you ask, I am sober now. I have been for hours. I'm just looking back on everything over the course of the night and feel... refreshed. I feel empowered, even. And I'm ready. I'm ready to move forward, I think. No. I know I'm ready. It's time to go forward and not look back. My gears have stayed idle for so long that they've rusted together? Tough luck for them because if they won't turn, they'll get destroyed in the process.

Not sure if that last one sounded like a good thing. It's supposed to be.

So, moving forward. Where am I going? I don't know, but I'm getting there. And you know what, even if "there" is total, utter failure, I'll get there proud! I'll get there with my head high and my back straight. I'm done dragging myself along doing nothing with the talents I know I have. That's my resolve: I'm going to take advantage of my abilities and expose myself everywhere.

And I've made my commitment. I've been making passing mentions of things I want to do with my musical ability (and god-damn it, I'm pretty good!), but I made only halfhearted attempts (if any at all) in taking advantage of that. Well no more. Starting today, I'm collecting a whole bunch of songs and practice, practice, practice! I have well over 20 songs memorized already, but I need to know more. I need to revise my set list.

And after all that is done... [Drum roll.] I'm going to go "out there" and put it out. Not in CD's, mind, though that would be nice, it would also be copyright infringement. Ha. No, I mean going to bars, and other places of interest and get them to let me play! And while all that is going on, I'm going to open a new YouTube account and start posting songs there. Something good may come of it. Who knows! No one does and that's the beauty of it.

So, that's it. I'm going to move forward. No more excuses, no more delays. I can't pass the blame on anyone else anymore. Sure, it took four years, and I admit I'm still not completely over it, but I'm passed my dad's death. And I'm ready to create the new me.

Hopefully, for this blog, it'll also mean some more upbeat posts. Like this. Though, I'm sorry if I still...

No. You know what? Scratch that. I'm not going to apologize for normal, human emotions. I can live with that now. And instead of apologizing, I want to thank you for getting sad and solemn when I get that way. You sympathize. I appreciate it. But I won't need sympathy anymore. Not where I'm going. I'll become a respectable man. More so than I was before I got in my slump.

I'm going to become someone who's doing what he loves. I was that at one point, and the thrill and satisfaction of it leaves "this me" feeling very empty. Anyway, I will be that person again.

This post seems rather... erratic, don't you think? I've run on too long on a rant that's probably boring for folks to read. I can't help it. I'm truly ecstatic. And I can't wait to show the world just what I've got.



P.S.

I'm opening up the blog.